More Than Existing
by smm
Summary: Kitty and Kurt make friends with a new girl in school, but when something weird seems to be happening to her, they begin to wonder if she's hiding something from them. Please R&R. Thank you. Complete
1. Meet and Greet

More than Existing  
  
Author's Note: All right, feel free to laugh at my complete and utter stupidity. When I originally posted this story, I was at work, so I was rushing and I accidentally put in the Teen Titan section (because I usually write TT fics). I'm sure that all the TT fans probably hate my guts, but hopefully everyone will be able to overlook my temporary stupidity. A huge thank you goes out to x-RAVEN-x and RavenForever for telling me that I posted it in the wrong section. Blushes   
Anyway...about the story, this is my first fic for X-Evo, so sorry if it sucks. Also, if you've read any of my other fics, you know I like to keep the reader a little lost until I pull it together in the end. Please enjoy.  
  
The inspiration for this story came from Oscar Wilde, who once said, "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Chapter 1 – "Meet and Greet"  
  
Janine sighed as she looked down the empty hallway. She hated changing schools. Making new friends wasn't exactly her specialty. She wasn't a very open kind of person. She often kept to herself because she was afraid of what others would say if they knew. They always pretended to be nice after they found out, but she could see it in their face that they were afraid. She hated the looks she got when someone found out; she hated those looks even more than switching schools. Unexpectedly, Janine was pulled from her thoughts as someone ran into her from behind. She fell to the floor, but turned around quickly to see her attacker. The other girl was also on the floor; apparently the collision had sent her to the ground too. The other girl spoke first, "Oh, sorry. I, like, wasn't watching where I was going." The girl began to get to her feet. "Are you okay?" she asked as she offered her hand to Janine. Janine took the mystery girl's hand and quietly replied, "Yes." The other girl had apparently noticed Janine's confused look, or maybe it was the class schedule in her hand that tipped the girl off. Either way, the other girl said, "You're new aren't you?" Janine nodded, and the girl continued. "I'm Kitty. Do you need any help finding your classes?" Janine nodded again, a little afraid to speak. "I can help you if you want." Kitty said in an energetic voice. "What's your first class?" Janine looked at her schedule. "My first class is Chemistry with a Mr. Masters." Janine was feeling a little relieved that someone seemed like they wanted to help her.  
"Mr. Masters is upstairs in Mr. McCoy's old classroom. Come on, I'll take you there." Kitty said, grabbing Janine's hand. Kitty lead Janine to a set of stairs and began ascending them. Kitty seemed really nice, and while they were walking, she began to ask Janine questions. "So, what's your name, where you from, and what's your favorite subject?"  
"I'm Janine Strong, and my favorite subject is art." She replied  
"Cool, I like art okay too, but I'm not really good at it. I really like computer science, though I sometimes get in trouble with Mrs. Smith for crashing a computer or two." Kitty said with a giggle. Janine could tell right away that this girl was going to be fun to be around. "So where did you say you were from again?" Kitty asked.  
"Do you want to know where I was born, or my most recent place of residence?"  
"Both, I guess. Do you guys move around a lot or something?" Kitty asked  
"Yeah, my dad's in the military, and we move almost every year. I was born in Hickory, North Carolina, then we moved to Columbia, South Carolina then to Atlanta, Georgia and then to Miami. After Miami we went to Oregon and after Oregon we moved to Illinois and then New Mexico...or was it New Mexico and then Illinois? I can't remember, well then after that we moved to Kansas, and then France, and then to Missouri. Then we came here..."  
"Wow. So you actually lived in France? Like in Paris?" Kitty asked  
"Um, not Paris exactly. We lived in the upper part of France, in a providence called Nord-Pas de Calais."  
"Oh, well that's still cool. Can you speak French?" She asked  
"Mais, bien sûr." Janine replied, a little giddy from all the attention she was getting. Her smile was growing larger by the minute. It was so nice to have someone welcome her. This had never happened in any of her other schools. She was beginning to really hate the fact that she was going to have to go to class in a moment. Just a she thought it, Kitty stopped in front of a door. "This is Mr. Masters' class. He's pretty nice, but Mr. McCoy was way cooler." Kitty said.  
"Thanks for showing me to my class, Kitty. It was really nice of you." Janine said as she began to open the door, but before she walked in, Kitty said something. "Hey, do you want to eat with me and my friends today? You know, since you're new and all?" Janine was flattered by the invitation. She'd only known this girl for a few minutes, but this girl was already asking her to eat with her at lunch. It felt almost like she'd began making friends already. "Yeah, I'd like that." Janine said, "I guess I'll see you at lunch."  
"Great! Bye!" Kitty said enthusiastically as she began walking down the hall. Janine watched the girl leave. She smiled slightly to herself, and started into the classroom. 


	2. Lunch Time

More than Existing  
  
Author's note: What did you think of the first chapter? Did Kitty seem in character? Do you want to know more about the new girl Janine? Well I hope so. Oh, and just so you're not confused, this takes place after Mainstream. On to the next chapter...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything  
  
Chapter 2 – "Lunch Time"  
  
"Hey guys," Kitty said as she sat down at her friends' usual table. "I hope you guys don't mind or anything, but I invited a new girl to sit with us."  
"Cool, what's her name?" Kurt asked.  
"Janine. Today is her first day, so I thought she might need someone to sit with."  
"That was really nice of you Kitty." Jean commented. "So what do you know about her?"  
"Well I only talked to her for a few minutes, but she said she was from a military family and she moved around a lot. She listed a whole lot of places of where she lived before; she even listed a place in France."  
"Cool! She can help me out with my French class." Kurt said.  
"Uh, Kitty? Does she know?" Scott asked, "You know, about our...gifts?"  
"Well it didn't exactly come up..." Kitty said  
"She's bound to be mad when she finds out." Scott pointed out.  
"Maybe not. Maybe she won't care..." Kitty said, but even as she said it, she knew that it was a lost cause. This girl would most likely be just like all the rest.  
"You shouldn't underestimate people, Scott. You never know, she could be like Amanda." Kurt commented.  
"Amanda is a rare case. I bet you couldn't name one other human that doesn't care about our powers." Scott said. The table grew silent. They all knew that other than Amanda, finding someone that didn't care was about their powers was about as likely as Principle Kelly wearing a dress to school.  
Kitty perked up for a moment, and pointed to a blonde girl across the room. "There she is guys." She said to them as she stood up. "Janine! Over here!" Kitty shouted, waving to the girl. The girl saw Kitty, and there was a clear look of relief crossing her face as she began making her way over to their table. As she walked over, the other X-men studied her. She was a girl of about 16 with a very thin face, and dark brown eyes. Her eyes looked strange with her shocking blonde hair, but she was still attractive. She looked a little taller than Kitty, and had a very thin frame. The girl was wearing a smile on her face, but she looked tired as if she'd been through a great deal and the small circles under her eyes just added to the effect.  
"Hi, Kitty, is it still okay I sit with you?" she asked.  
"Of course!" Kitty replied happily. "Everyone, this is Janine. Janine, this is Jean, Scott, and Kurt...there's usually another girl with us, but she's still in line."  
"Nice to meet you all." Janine replied politely, it was obvious that she was a little uncomfortable meeting these new people. 'Nice to meet you's were echoed around the table as she sat down.  
"So, Janine" Jean started, "How do you like Bayville so far?"  
"Well, I haven't really got to see much of the town. I've only been here for about a week." She replied. As Duncan Matthews was walking by the table. He didn't usually pay much attention to the mutants unless he was going to bully them, but today, there was someone new at the table.  
"Well then we'll have to show you around! Would you like to-" Kitty began, but she was suddenly interrupted by Duncan.  
"Hey, new girl. What do you think you're doing?" Janine looked at the very large jock, and a look of slight fear crossed her face. "I-I-I'm eating lunch...why?"  
"No. I mean what do you think you're doing with the mutants?" Duncan said. Janine pulled her gaze from the blonde haired boy, and looked at the people seated around her table. 'They're mutants?' she thought. The X-Men couldn't help but feel a little guilty for not telling her sooner. They thought they knew what was coming next. Janine turned back to the boy, and said in a calm but slightly defiant voice, "I told you, I'm eating lunch with my friends."  
Everyone in hearing distance was stunned. Duncan and the X-men were completely speechless. The only person that didn't seem surprised was Janine. She calmly turned back to face Kitty, and said, "Kitty, what were you going to ask me before this boy so rudely interrupted you?"  
Quickly regaining her composure, Kitty replied, "I-I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to the mall with me after school." A small frown appeared on Janine's face as she replied, "I can't this week, I've got to...help my mom, but I can next week." Duncan was still staring at the new girl that had stood up for the mutants. The fact that she liked the mutants made him hate her. 'If this girl isn't part of the solution, then she's apart of the problem' Duncan thought. Scott interrupted his thoughts as he said, "Hey Duncan, do you need directions to the Stupid Convention?" Refusing to say anything, Duncan just walked off toward his table. As he turned away he said under his breath, "That girl is going to get a crash course in what we do to mutie lovers around here." Kurt was the only person to hear this threat, but instead of telling everyone, he kept quiet. There was no sense in worrying Janine about something that Duncan may not do; but nonetheless, he made a mental note to tag along, and make sure she stayed as far away from Duncan Matthews as possible. Lunch continued with out much other event. All the X-Men were quite surprised at how Janine opened up to them. She'd seemed really shy at first, but after a few minutes, she was talking to them like she'd known them for years. She was great to listen to too. She told some great stories about the places she'd lived before. As Kitty watched her new friend, she knew that Janine was going to fit in just fine. Janine was feeling quite at home with these people. They told her about what teachers to avoid, where the best places to eat were, and other such things. They also mentioned that they all lived at the same place. A group home called "The Xavier Instituted for Gifted Children". Kitty had promised to take her there some day next week. Janine had really wanted to go with Kitty to see the town this week, but something was getting in the way. She hated having to lie to her new friends about where she was going, but she knew just what they'd say if they knew. Janine also met the 5th member of their party; a girl named "Rogue". Janine had thought that the girl's name fit her personality quite well. The girl was withdrawn and somewhat unpredictable. Janine wasn't quite sure that Rogue really liked her, though she did perk up a little when she found out what Janine had said to the blonde headed boy. With the exception to the event with the blonde headed boy, Janine was beginning to really feel like she belonged. These people seemed really nice, even if they all were mutants. 


	3. Homework and Dry Heaves

More than Existing  
  
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. Do you know what Janine is hiding? I hope you don't, I haven't even hardly given any hints! Anyway, you will find out soon, most likely in the next couple of chapters. This chapter is mostly a couple of clues to what's going on. Oh, and in case you don't know what a "dry heave" is. It's when there's nothing in your stomach to throw up, but you're still throwing up, just nothing is coming up.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing...go ahead rub it in.  
  
Chapter 3 – "Homework and Dry Heaves"  
  
It was Friday, three days after Kurt and Kitty met Janine, and they were starting to worry about they're new friend. She hadn't been back to school since that first day, and not hearing from her was making them uneasy, Kurt especially. The first day, Kurt and Kitty had offered to walk Janine home, mostly because Kurt was still worried about Duncan's threat. Kitty was the only other person he told, and she'd agreed that walking her home was the best thing to do. Now, Kurt was secretly wondering if Duncan had carried out his threat after they'd left Janine that day. "Maybe she's got that stomach bug that Amanda has had for the past couple of days." Kitty reasoned, "Maybe we should take her some soup or something."  
"I don't know if she'd really want soup if she's got a stomach bug." Kurt retorted  
"Yeah I guess you're right. I still think we should check on her though."  
"I need to take her our French homework anyway, so you can come with me to drop it off." Kurt said. Hearing this made Kitty feel a little better 'At least we'll get to find out if she's okay'.  
  
Kitty and Kurt walked the streets to Janine's house after school. The streets seemed silent as they walked. Neither spoke. They were both absorbed in their own thoughts. Each in their own way was worried that something had happened. They came upon Janine's house before either of them realized it. Kurt walked up the steps, and rang the bell. There wasn't an answer. They waited a few moments, and then, just as Kurt began to turn away from the door, a woman answered. "Hello? Can I help you?" The woman asked. She looked very tired, and her cheeks were sort of red, kind of like she'd been crying. "Uh, yes ma'am. I'm Kurt, and that's Kitty. We're friends of Janine's from school...is she home?"  
"Yes, but she doesn't want to see anyone. She's not feeling very well." The woman said.  
"Oh," Kurt replied, his disappointment showing on his face. "Is she okay? We brought her homework."  
"I'm sure she'll be happy that you stopped by," the woman said, taking the textbooks from Kurt. "Thank you for bringing her assignments. If Janine wasn't so sick, I'd invite you in..."  
"No ma'am its okay, we just wanted to make sure she was all right." Kitty said as she and Kurt turned to leave. They were barely off the steps of Janine's front porch when Kurt said "I guess you were right Kitty, I guess she does have that stomach bug." Upon hearing this, Janine's mother shook her head, and thought to herself 'Janine hasn't told them...well, I'm not sure I'd blame her. I don't think I'd tell them either.' The woman turned and went inside. She walked slowly upstairs to her daughter's room. Even from where she stood on the stairs she could already hear her daughter throwing up what little she'd eaten. As she got closer the gurgling sounds subsided for a few moments, and then began again. The woman winced every time she heard it. She hated to know her child was in this pain, but it was the only way. The woman came upon her daughter's room and went inside. She could clearly see her daughter in the bathroom from where she stood. She was leaned over the toilet still throwing up. After a few more moments, the girl stopped and turned to face her mother. Even in this wretched condition, the girl still gave her mother a tired smile. "Who was at the door Mom?" she asked.  
"They said they were a few friends of yours. Kurt and Kitty." Her mother replied. A look of fear crossed the girl's face. "You didn't tell them did you?" She asked, her desperation flowing into her voice.  
"No, I didn't tell them."  
Janine breathed a heavy sigh, "Good."  
"Janine, you're going to have to tell them sometime. You can't keep pretending that-"  
"No. They'll be just like everyone else if I tell them. They'll say 'I'm so sorry' and then they'll stop looking at me like I'm a person. I won't go through that again. If I'm going to spend the rest of my life here...I won't have them look at me like that." Janine said, unable to look at her mother. A single tear appeared in her mother's eyes, and Janine knew what was coming. She couldn't stand to watch her mother cry. It was horrible, like the world was dying. In attempts to not have to watch her mother, she turned her gaze back to the bathroom, suddenly she felt something welling up in her, and she leaned over the toilet. No, it was nothing. Nothing was going to come, she was just going to dry heave. Nothing was left in her stomach, and it hurt horribly. Hearing her daughter's painful dry heaving only made the woman cry harder. She couldn't stay to watch this, so she left the room to cry somewhere else, anywhere else. 


	4. Bruises and Powers

More than Existing  
  
Author's note: Do you guys have any idea as to what is wrong? No? Well here are a few more hints...  
  
Chapter 4 – "Bruises and Powers"  
  
Janine was back to school on Monday, and everything seemed fine again. Janine looked a little thinner, but no more worse for the wear. The day seemed to completely drag for Janine, mostly because she couldn't wait until after school. Today was the day Kitty and Kurt were going to take her around the town. She could hardly sit still during her last class. It was Algebra II honors with Mr. Whittemore, and he was really boring. As he lectured, Janine's mind began to wander. Her mind began wandering back to the first day of school. She kept thinking back to lunch, when she found out that they were mutants. She had been a little scared at first, but she thought to herself, 'They treated me well. They treated me just like I was one of them, and they hadn't known me for more than a few minutes. Which was a lot more than I could say for that Duncan guy.' When she stood up for them, for a moment, she'd wondered if she was doing the right thing, but the more she got to know them, the more she was convinced that she'd been in the right. Janine was surprised so many people hated the mutants. Sure, it was a little scary that they had abilities that could easily hurt someone, but they were nice, and she knew that they wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally. Now, because she'd stood up for them, she was getting the same treatment that they were getting. There were the smart remarks behind her back, and the occasional paper airplane, but for the most part it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. The mutants were good people, and she knew that she could deal with a little hassling if it meant that they could be friends. Speaking of paper airplanes, one currently was making its way to her desk. It hit her in the side of the face, and fell to her desk. On the wings, the words "Open Me" were scrawled in neat bubble letters. Janine opened the crude paper airplane, what was written on the inside gave her chills. It said, "You may think that your mutie friends can protect you. But you're wrong. They can't protect you forever, and when the day comes that they're not around, you'll get what you deserve." Janine looked around innocently in attempts to see who threw the airplane. No one gave any hint of who the culprit was. Angrily, Janine crumpled the message into a tight ball, and threw it in her backpack. She wouldn't be intimidated by someone that wasn't even brave enough to claim a paper airplane.  
The clock inched forward, and the final bell rang. 'Freedom' Janine thought as she quickly made her way out of the classroom. Moments later she found herself waiting for Kitty and Kurt on the school's front steps. Suddenly, directly in front of her, a cloud of harsh smelling smoke appeared. Kurt stepped out of the middle of it and said, "Hey! Vhat's up?"  
Startled at his entrance, she stepped back, but tripped over a stair, and fell down. "Ow." She said loudly. 'That'll be a bruise tomorrow. I can add it to my collection.' She thought, glumly. "How did you do that?" Janine asked as Kurt helped her up. He wasn't really listening to wait she said, he was looking at her arm. Clear on the pale skin were several bruises. Some were small, but several were quite large. He glanced at her other arm; it was in the same condition. 'What could have made so many bruises?' Suddenly he realized that she was expecting an answer for something. "What did you say Janine?"  
"I asked you how you did that." She repeated.  
"Do vhat?"  
Janine sighed, this was getting repetitive. "How did you...poof like that?"  
"Oh, that? That's my...gift. I'm a teleporter." He said, teleporting over to another part of the stairs to show her. "Wow." Janine said. She'd never seen a mutant use their powers before, and it looked so cool. She had to admit, she was feeling a little jealous. She would give up people liking her in a minute if she could do something like that. "So can you poof anywhere?" she asked, completely fascinated.  
"No, I can teleport up to 2 miles away, but I don't like to teleport somewhere I can't see. And I have to know where I'm going." Kurt explained. This attention was kind of nice for a change.  
"Can Kitty do that too?" Janine asked.  
"Um...no. I'm the only teleporter at the institute."  
"Oh." Janine replied a little let down. "What can Kitty do?"  
"I can walk through walls." Kitty said coming up in time to hear Janine's last question.  
"Cool! Can-can you show me?" Janine said, getting really excited.  
"Sure." Kitty said as she walked through the school's doors, and then came back out.  
"You guys are amazing." Janine said  
"You're not telling them anything they don't know." Said a smiling black girl that walked up next to Kurt.  
"Janine, this is my girlfriend Amanda." Kurt said.  
"Hi...Janine, was it? Its good to have another mutant lover around here." Amanda said.  
"I hope you guys don't mind, but I invited Amanda along. She's had a stomach bug for the last couple of days, and has been wanting to get out of the house." Kurt explained.  
"I don't mind." Kitty said.  
"Neither do I. It's nice to meet you Amanda." Janine said. "So how are we walking to the mall, or what?"  
"Actually, my holo-watch had been on the blink. I thought we could pop back to the institute, and then go from there." Kurt suggested.  
"What's a holo-watch?" Janine asked  
"Well, lets just say that Kurt has a less than normal appearance, and he had a holographic inducer hidden in his watch that gives him the appearance of a normal looking teenager." Kitty explained. As if on cue, Kurt's watch blinked off and Janine got an eye full of the true blue Kurt. Like anyone that wasn't used to his appearance, Janine gasped and took a step back. After a slightly longer look at him, she sort of thought he looked cute. 'His pointy ears kind of makes him look like an elf' she thought to herself, as he struggled to get his watch working again. Suddenly, his image transformed back into a regular looking guy. "That's better. Sorry about that Janine, I suppose I should have warned you..."  
"No problem...you just sort of startled me..." she replied.  
"Well I'm just glad that no one else saw you." Kitty said. "I guess making a detour to the institute is definitely unavoidable now. Lets go." 


	5. Not Feeling So Well

More than Existing  
  
Author's note: Anybody figured it out yet? Well you'll all find out in the next chapter, but for now, I'll be content with leading you up to it...  
  
Chapter 5 – "Not Feeling So Well"  
The four teenagers made to long walk up to the institute with just a little trouble. Janine seemed to get completely exhausted within just a few blocks. After that, every few minutes, she needed to stop and rest. Finally, when they got close, Kurt started teleporting everyone short distances so they wouldn't have to walk so far. By the time they got to the institute, Janine wasn't the only one tired. Kurt was worn out too. Standing in front of the institute, Janine was speechless. They'd failed to mention that they lived in a mansion. "Wow..." she said as she looked on in awe. "Come on Janine, I want to get in and get out so we can take you to the mall." Kitty said as she took Janine's arm and lead her inside.  
"Professor! Beast!? Anyone here? Kurt needs his watch altered!" Kitty yelled out in the main room. Shortly after she saw Beast coming down the stairs. Kitty stole a peek at Janine. Her mouth was hanging open and she was staring. "Who's that?" Janine asked, still staring. "Mr. McCoy, that chemistry teacher I told you about. We call him Beast, but don't let his appearance fool you, he's a genius." Kitty explained as Beast came to meet them. "Mr. McCoy, this is Janine. Janine, this is Mr. McCoy." Beast He offered his hand out to Janine and said, "Hello, its nice to meet you. I hear you made quite the stir at lunch last week."  
Janine blushed as this information, and said, "Yeah, I suppose I did." As she reached out to put her hand in his, "Its nice to meet you too."  
"Beast, can you fix my watch? I think it's got a short. It keeps blinking on and off." Kurt said as he handed the watch to Mr. McCoy. "I see the problem, a few of your wires have come loose. I can fix it, but It'll take a few minutes." Beast replied as he began to head over to the lab. It was then that Amanda perked up and turned to Kurt and said, "Oh, while we're here, I think I left my Barenaked Ladies CD in your room Kurt. Can we get it?"  
"Sure." He replied as he put his arm around her and teleported away. Kitty and Janine were hardly left alone for more than a moment when I small man in a wheel chair came into the room. "I heard you calling Kitty. Did you need something?" the man asked.  
"Oh, well Kurt's watch is on the blink, but Hank is fixing it." Kitty said.  
"Good. Who is your friend here?" He asked  
"This is Janine Strong. Janine, this is Professor Xavier. He runs the school." Kitty explained.  
"Its nice to meet you, sir."  
"Likewise." He replied, smiling as he shook her hand. Suddenly, his face changed, to a look that was all too familiar to Janine. It was the same look that said 'I'm sorry,' a look that had stopped seeing her as a person. She hated that look, and it was the same look that had kept her from telling her friends about her "problem". Confronted by "the look", Janine quickly pulled her hand away from his grasp. She was silently praying that he didn't know, and that if he did know, he wouldn't tell her friends. Just that moment, Kurt returned with Amanda. Kurt was wearing his holo-watch so Hank must have given it back to him. Smiling, Kurt said, "All right. We ready to head out on the town!"  
  
Much to Kurt and Janine's relief, the Professor allowed them to take the X-Van instead of having to walk. The first place Kitty and Kurt took her was to the mall. While they walked around the mall, Kitty and Kurt told her stories of some of the missions they'd been on. One of which actually consisted of coming to this same mall and trying to stop another group of mutants from messing up the place. Janine was fascinated by their stories. They talked what it was like to try and hide the fact they were mutants, they talked about what it'd been like before they got their powers, and what it was like getting their powers. It was amazing. To Janine, their lives were like the lives of movie stars. 'It would be so cool to be a mutant. It would make life so much more exciting, not to mention easier.' She thought to herself. But then Kitty and Kurt began to tell her about how they were treated when everyone found out what they were. They told her how all their friends had deserted them and about the time Jean's powers went haywire. Suddenly, being a mutant didn't sound so great. The more the two told her about being a mutant, the less glamorous it seemed.   
  
"So if all mutants have 'gifts', what are the other's gifts, like Scott and Jean, and Rogue. What can they do?" Janine asked.  
"Well, Jean is a telekinetic, which means she can move stuff with her mind, and she's also got a little telepathy, which means she can read minds. Scott's eyes shoot these things called optic blasts-" Kitty began.  
"So his eyes shoot like...lasers or something?" Janine interrupted.  
"No, it's more like these red beams that are really forceful. He can't control them, that's why he wears those glasses." Kurt explained.  
"So, what about Rogue? What are her powers?"  
"Rogue's powers are absorption. If she were to touch someone, all their memories and abilities would be absorbed into her. So if she were to touch Kitty, she would be able to walk through walls." Kurt said.  
"Wow! That's got to be the coolest power ever!" Janine said.  
Kitty and Kurt looked at each other, "Not really," Kurt said, "Rogue can't control it. If someone were to touch her skin, whether she wanted to or not, she'd absorb them. And anytime she does absorb someone, they're usually knocked unconscious, if not put into a coma." Janine's smile disappeared from her face. "Is that why she dresses like she does? Why she's all covered up all the time?" she asked. Kurt and Kitty nodded. 'That must be horrible.' Janine thought, 'It would be horrible never to be able to touch. I guess I'd be just as moody as she is if I couldn't touch.' Janine decided to move away from Rogue's powers.  
"So is the Professor a mutant too?" She asked.  
"Yeah," Kurt said, "He's a telepath." Janine swallowed her gum. 'He's a telepath? That means he knows. He knows my secret and he'll probably tell them.' Janine hadn't realized she'd stopped walking, but Kurt, Kitty and Amanda had. Kitty looked at Janine, suddenly, she turned pale and began to sway. Just as she was about to fall over, Kurt caught her. "Are you okay Janine?" Kitty asked.  
"I don't know, I think I need to go home. I'm not feeling so well." Janine said, her voice falling to a whisper. As Kurt helped Janine to a nearby bench, her nose started to bleed. She quickly pinched her nose, as if she'd done it a thousand times before. Sitting on the bench in front of her concerned friends, Janine couldn't help but cringe at the fact that they had to see this. It was so embarrassing the way her body was betraying her.  
Kurt, Kitty and Amanda were all becoming very concerned. What was happening to their friend? Was she going to be okay? After a few minutes, Janine's nose stopped bleeding and Kurt took them all home. The whole way home, Janine continued to apologize for ruining the day. 


	6. Blonde Bombshell

More than Existing  
  
Author's note: Okay, this chapter is a little long, but Janine's secret is finally revealed...though I'm not sure I matters, cause I think I'm being ignored.... (Oh and just in case you don't know what I mean when I said "Courtyard" I mean that outside place where they eat lunch, as seen in Middleverse and Shadow Dance)  
  
Disclaimer: Strangely, I still own nothing  
  
Chapter 6 – "Blonde Bombshell"  
  
Kitty laid down on her bed and thought about the day's strange events. Why had Janine been so sick? Were the fainting spell and bloody nose simply the after effects of the stomach bug from last week? Or was it something more? Why had she been so tired? Was there something really wrong? If so, why hadn't Janine said something? These questions raced through Kitty's mind as she stared at the ceiling. 'Will Janine be okay?'  
Meanwhile in the kitchen, the same questions flashed through Kurt's mind as he made himself a sandwich. He and Kitty had come home after dinner and he was making himself a snack. He looked down at his plate, and found himself completely unappetized. He wasn't hungry at all. All he could think about was what had happened at the mall. He couldn't help but think of how fragile Janine had felt as she collapsed into his arms. All Kurt could think was 'Will she be okay?'  
"Kurt?" a voice in his head said, "I'd like to see you in the library."  
Kurt shivered slightly, no matter how many times the professor did it, Kurt would never get used to hearing his mentor's voice in his head.  
  
"You vanted to see me professor?" Kurt said as he entered the library.  
"Yes. Kurt, it's about your new friend Janine." Professor Xavier began.  
"Vhat about her?"  
"How well do you and Kitty know her?"  
"Pretty good I guess. She's from a military family, she's moved around a lot; she's really nice. She even knows we're mutants she thinks it's cool." Kurt answered with a smile. He was sure that the professor would be happy some people were beginning to accept mutants. The professor's reaction wasn't what he expected. A look of worry was reflected in the professor's eyes. "Is everyzing okay, Professor?" Kurt asked seeing the man's concern.  
"I'm afraid not. Today, when I met Janine I found out that-"  
"Kurt! Your Mom and Dad are on the phone from Germany." Bobby said poking his head in the library. Kurt looked at the professor, unsure if he should go. The man nodded. Smiling at the idea of being able to talk to his parents, Kurt turned and followed Bobby out of the room. The door made a slight click as it closed behind them. Charles Xavier sat silently in his chair. Was he doing the right thing? Should he tell them? Was it his _place_ to tell them? This was something that the professor had been struggling with for a while. There were times for honesty with his students, and there was a time for secrecy. As of late he had been having difficulty telling those times apart. This was Janine's secret. Maybe, he should let her tell them...  
  
Janine looked at herself in the mirror the next morning. Yesterday had been a close call. They almost found out. She shivered at the thought. She didn't want them to find out, but she especially didn't want them to find out by accident. She had to tell them. Would they still accept her if they knew? 'No. They'll react just like everyone else. They'll forget I'm still a person. They'll give me that look. I'm not sure it matters anyway. I'm going to have to tell them sooner or later and I suppose its better to find out sooner from me now, than by accident later.' Janine thought. She sighed heavily and said, "Well it was nice having friends while lasted."  
  
"Kurt!" Janine called as she made her way over to him in the crowded hallway. He was taking books from his locker. When she called out he looked up and a look of relief crossed his features. 'She's okay' he thought.  
"Kurt, I need to talk to you and Kitty. It's really important. It's about yesterday-"Janine started, but she was suddenly interrupted by the late bell.  
"Can it vait? I haf got to go. If I'm late to Mr. Bryant's class one more time, I'll get detention." Kurt replied.  
"I guess it can wait. Just meet me in the courtyard after 3rd period." She said as he turned to leave.  
"Got it. See ya." He said calling over his shoulder.  
"And don't forget to tell Kitty!" she said after him. Kurt said nothing but nodded in understanding. Silently, Janine turned and began walking toward her own first period.  
For the next few hours Janine rehearsed in her head what to say. She completely ignored her teachers, and she'd gotten in trouble for not listening a few times already. She was nervous, but she knew she was doing the right thing. They'd really hate her if she kept this secret from them for much longer. Finally, after what seemed like years, the bell sounded, releasing them from 3rd period. Janine's heart was in her throat as she made her way to the courtyard. Standing alone in the courtyard, Janine was having second thoughts. She couldn't doubt herself for very long because suddenly, she was shoved from behind. Janine fell to the round, banging her knee. 'That'll be a bruise tomorrow' she thought as she turned to see her attacker. It was Duncan, and a few or his goons. 'Great, I don't have time for this dope.' She thought.  
"Who do you think you are?" Duncan said in a cocky tone. "Well the last time I checked, I was Janine Strong." She said in a smart aleck tone as she got off the ground.  
"Very funny mutie lover. I don't think you realize what we do to people that like mutants around here."  
"You know Duncan, I heard from a reliable source that you liked a mutant once...that is until she dumped you." Duncan's face grew red with hate. Janine was getting more confident by the second, "And as much as I'd _love_ to talk to you about your failed relationships, I really don't have time for this."  
Duncan grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and pulled her close. His breath smelled horrible. "Make time." He said. Janine was a little frightened but she couldn't let it show. She knew that he could easily kill her in her condition, but she hoped that he wouldn't hurt her that bad. She turned her head to avoid his eyes. Just as she did, Janine heard a familiar sound behind her. Bamf . Duncan unexpectedly let her go. Not completely surprised Janine turned to see Kurt walking out of a cloud of smoke. Relief crossed her mind for a brief moment.  
Kurt was mentally kicking himself for not following Janine today. Because of yesterday's events, he'd totally forgotten Duncan's threat. There was no time to beat himself up for it now, he had to help Janine. "Duncan, picking on a girl? Zhat's low even for you." Kurt said as he assumed a fighting stance. The blonde boy had been temporarily taken back by the mutant's entrance, but now he was ready. Duncan swiftly grabbed Kurt by the throat and slung him across the courtyard as if he'd been a rag doll.  
"Kurt!" Janine screamed as she ran toward her fallen friend. But before she got to Kurt's body, Duncan had her by the arm.  
"You know what? Mutie lovers like you are even bigger freaks than the mutants." He said squeezing her arm hard as he jerked Janine toward him. Since the beginning of the fight, a crowd had formed, and they all heard the same teeth clenching crack as Janine's arm broke under Duncan's force. The jerk wouldn't have broken a normal person's arm, but in Janine's condition, her arm broke like a twig. Stunned at the fact that he'd actually broken her arm, Duncan let go of Janine. But the momentum of the original jerk kept her moving. She couldn't stop. A loose rock in the courtyard quickly sent her to the ground. Before Janine could put her good arm out to catch herself, her head hit the pavement and for a moment, everything went black.  
Janine slowly blinked her eyes open. Her arm was throbbing horribly and her head hurt. Several people were standing around her, but she only recognized a few of them. One was Kurt, and another one was blonde, so she figured that one was Duncan. Next to Kurt she could see Kitty who must have just walked up. Out of the corner of her eye she could see something blonde lying on the ground. Everyone for some reason was starting at her head. Janine could suddenly feel a light breeze on her scalp. She at last realized what they were staring at. Her good hand rushed to her head, and just like she suspected, in place of feeling a head of hair, all she could feel was skin. Her wig had fallen off when she'd hit the ground, and now everyone knew. It didn't take a rocket scientist for hem to realize that they were staring at a cancer patient. The circles under her eyes, her week out of school, the bruises, the fatigue and bloody nose. It all fit. The baldhead was the last confirmation in a series of puzzled events. They were all giving her the look now. The look that said they were afraid, it was a look that said that they weren't looking at a person anymore, just a corpse. They already saw her as a dead man. Janine avoided Kurt and Kitty's eyes, afraid of seeing their expressions.  
Janine couldn't help it, but she was feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. She slowly and painfully picked herself up off the ground. Her arm ached and her head hurt, but she did the only thing she could think of, she ran. 


	7. Bathroom Chat

More than Existing  
  
Author's note: Are you guys interested now? Was it a big surprise, or did you figure it out in the first couple of chapters? Well anyway, she's got Leukemia, in case you're wondering. This chapter will sound like the end, but it's not, I've still got a chapter or two still up my sleeve. The real reason that I'm writing this is going to come up in those chapters...is anyone reading this?  
  
Disclaimer: I'm a college freshmen, do you really think I've got enough money to _own_ something?  
  
Chapter 7 – "Bathroom Chat"  
  
Janine stood in a bathroom stall on the far side of school. She only hoped no one would look for her there. She'd been crying for a about a half hour now, and she was really glad that she'd chosen a hiding place with plenty of tissues. She was missing 4th period, but she didn't care, all she could think about was how her friends would desert her now. 'I came to school today hoping I could tell them myself and instead that idiot, Duncan, screwed it up. –No, it wasn't his fault. If I'd been honest with Kurt and Kitty from the beginning, this wouldn't have happened.' She thought glumly. Janine reached to get some more tissue to wipe her eyes, but accidentally moved her hurt arm, and she couldn't help but gasp at the pain. 'I need to get this set before it starts to heal wrong. It'll hurt worse if they have to re-break it to set it.'  
The door creaked open and Kitty's voice called out, "Janine? Are you in here?" No one answered. Kitty bent over to look for feet in the stalls. It was easy to see Janine's shoes in the middle stall. Kitty walked over to the middle stall and knocked lightly. "Janine, please open the door. I need to talk to you." Again no one answered. "Please, Janine. I want to make sure you're okay," still no response. "Janine, don't make me come in there." There was still no reply.  
'Please don't come in! Please just go away!' Janine thought, mentally shooing Kitty away. She couldn't bear to have to face Kitty like this. 'Broken and bald.' Janine thought sullenly, 'What a combination.'  
Suddenly, Kitty phased through the stall's door. Janine was completely startled and tried to take a step back but was stopped short because of the toilet.  
"Janine, are you okay?" Kitty asked.  
"I'm as 'okay' as person can be with a broken arm.' Janine replied, the comment had an edge to it.  
"We need to get you to the nurse so she can look at your arm."  
"Why do you care anyway?" Janine asked avoiding looking in Kitty's face, she didn't want to have to face "the look."  
"Kitty was a little taken back, "I care because I'm your friend."  
"Even after I lied to you and Kurt?" she asked.  
"Of course. I don't understand why you didn't tell us, but I'm sure you had good reasons."  
Janine forced herself to look at Kitty's face. The look Kitty wore completely surprised Janine. Kitty was looking at her as if nothing had changed. She didn't seem scared. This gave Janine a sense of hope. 'Not everyone has given up on me...' Kitty was still looking at her, not like she was dying, but like she was just a regular everyday teenager. This is what Janine had wanted more than anything, someone to treat her normally. It was nice that someone wasn't terrified of her "condition". Janine smiled, "Thanks."  
"For what?" Kitty asked, puzzled.  
"For being my friend." She replied. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys. I was afraid you guys would freak out like everyone else. I was going to tell you today, but Duncan sort of beat me to it."  
Kitty smiled at her friend, "Any other deep, dark secrets I should know about?"  
Janine pretended to think for a minute, "Nah, I don't think so, I think the leukemia thing is it."  
"Good, now how about we take you to the nurse?"  
Janine nodded her baldhead, and followed Kitty out of the stall. Kitty was about to open the door for Janine, but she stopped for a minute. Kitty grabbed Janine's wig off the bathroom counter. "You left this outside. I though you might want it." Kitty said as she handed Janine the wig.  
"You thought right." Janine replied as she took the wig. She took a moment to put it on, and then signaled to Kitty that they could leave. Just outside the door Kurt was waiting.  
"Are you okay?" he asked urgently. Janine smiled red-eyed and silently nodded. Quietly, the 3 made their way through the deserted halls to the nurse's office.


	8. Visitors

More than Existing  
  
Author's Note: For some reason, this chapter gives me a whole new respect for Kurt and Kitty.  
  
Disclaimer: Are you tired of me saying I don't own anything? Good, cause I'm tired of saying it.  
  
Chapter 8 – "Visitors"  
  
Janine looked around the mostly empty hospital room. There was an a little kid in the corner talking to his dad. The kid couldn't have been any older than 8. Janine remembered seeing him once before. 'He was here during my first treatment. He's probably stuck living in the hospital during his treatments.' She couldn't help but stare at his mostly baldhead. He was most likely in the first couple of stages of treatment because he still had a few clumps of hair clinging to his scalp. She thought of her own bare scalp. Since the school had found out that she had cancer, there wasn't a point in hiding it anymore. She had recently gotten rid of the wig because it was hot and itchy. She'd been wearing hats, simply because they were more comfortable, but Kurt had surprised her a few days ago by giving her a beautiful blue silk scarf. He'd bought it for her because he found out she was going in for more chemotherapy. The silk felt wonderful against her scalp, so nice in fact that she'd worn it every day since he'd given it to her. Janine smiled a little at her mental image of Kurt. After a moment though, she return attention back to the little boy. He was reading his father a book. Janine squinted a little to read the title. 'Where the Sidewalk Ends' by: Shel Silverstien. Janine cracked a little smile, she used to read that book when she was his age. Sadly she turned her attention back to her IV. The little bag hanging from the hook was still mostly full. Janine sighed; she was going to have to be here for at least another hour. She hated being here. It was cold and the IV in her arm was beginning to itch. 'Chemotherapy sucks.' She thought to herself, and the idea of going home, and puking until she passed out didn't make her feel any better. 'I wish I wasn't allergic to the anti-nausea drugs...'  
Suddenly, the door cracked, and Kitty's face appeared. "Hey Janine." Kitty said, opening the door slightly, and slipping in the room. "Kitty?! What are you doing here? Only family members are allowed to visit during treatment." Janine said, completely astonished to see her friend there. Before Kitty could respond, Kurt slipped into the room. "Hey." He said. Janine couldn't believe it.  
"We came to see you." Kitty said.  
"Why? And how did you get past nurse Nancy?" Janine asked  
"Ve zhought you might need some company." Kurt said with a smile. Janine couldn't resist his grin, she couldn't help but smile herself.  
"I still don't understand how you got past the nurse."  
"Security here is pretty loose. After the nurse wouldn't let us see you, Kurt teleported us just outside your door." Kitty explained. Janine's smile widened, 'I've got some crazy friends.'  
"You don't mind do you? That we came to see you?" Kitty asked tentatively.  
"No! Of course not! I was bored stiff!" Kurt and Kitty smiled widely, and sat down in a few chairs.  
"So, 'ow much longer do you 'ave to sit zhere?" Kurt asked, looking at the IV sticking out of her arm.  
"At least another hour. I was about to go nuts, I forgot my book today." Janine said. The three were quiet for a moment. Kurt looked around the room. His eyes came to rest on the little boy. Quietly, he asked Janine, "Vat is he 'ere for?"  
"Chemotherapy. See the IV sticking out of his arm?" Janine answered in a whisper.  
"You mean, he's, like, got leukemia too? But he's so young." Kitty said.  
"He might not have leukemia. He may have another type of cancer for all I know. Though leukemia is the most common for kids. He could have a tumor or something though. I haven't really talked to him." Janine explained. None of them said a word, until Kurt turned his attention back to Janine. "Does it hurt?" he asked.  
"Kurt! Don't ask her stuff like that." Kitty scolded.  
"No, Kitty, it's fine. You guys can ask me whatever you want, I don't really care." Janine said. After a moment Kurt asked again, "So...does it hurt?" Janine nodded, "A little."  
"So, how long do you have to do zhis?" he asked.  
"I've got treatment all this week, and each time I've got to stay here for around an hour and a half. After this week, I've got to come back about once a month, for the next year."  
Kurt's eyes grew big, "A year? That's a really long time." Janine nodded. "So will you be cured after that?" he asked. She shook her head, "No, right now they're killing off the bone marrow because that's the part that has the cancer. The problem is that when you use chemotherapy to kill the cancer, it doesn't just kill the cancer, it kills all of the marrow, so after they kill off the marrow, I'll have to get donor marrow." They sat in silence for a moment. Kitty finally spoke up, "Do you have a donor?" Janine looked away, and shook her head. Suddenly, the door burst open. Nurse Nancy came in wagging her finger at Kurt and Kitty. "What did I tell you two?! You can't come in here unless you family! How did you get past me?!" Realizing that the game was up, Kitty gave Janine a quick hug, and whispered, "Bye." Nurse Nancy was making her way over to the two to drag them out of the room, but before she could lay her hands on them, Kurt grabbed Kitty's arm, and they teleported out of the room. Nurse Nancy was stunned. "Where'd those hoodlums go?" Janine smiled and shrugged her shoulders. The nurse wagged her finger at the patient and said, "You tell them, if they try sneaking in here again, I'll have them thrown out." Janine nodded her head. Nurse Nancy gave the girl one more hard look and then started out of the room. Janine couldn't help but giggle a little. Her friends were really something else. 


	9. More Bathroom Chats

More than Existing  
  
Author's Note: Wow! People commented! Thanks guys. I think you're right about the signed review. I tried to take it off, but I'm not sure if it worked. I don't think it did. I didn't even know that option was there. Anyway, thanks for commenting and telling me.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything  
  
Chapter 9 – "More Bathroom Chats"  
  
Janine was in her bathroom after the 3rd day of her treatment. Leaning against the bathroom wall, she looked at the toilet as she tried to fight the nausea. 'I hate this. Sometimes, I think the treatment is worse than having the disease.' Just then there was a knock on her bedroom door. "Come in" Janine croaked in a raw voice. Throwing up always made Janine's throat sore. The door swung open and who should walk in but Kitty and Kurt. "Hey, you want some company?" Kitty said.  
Janine couldn't help but crack a smile, "Sure why not?" The two mutants joined Janine by sitting on the bathroom floor with her. "So, am I becoming you guys' new hobby or something?" Janine asked, obviously joking.  
"Ja." Kurt replied with a smile. "Janine-Stalking is the latest sport. Everyone is doing it," The group giggled a little.  
"Tell me more about some of the stuff you guys have done. Kitty, why don't you tell me more about being apart of the Bayville Sirens? That sounded really cool"  
"It was!" Kitty said. She commenced in telling Janine the entire adventure. The three sat on the floor and talked for hours, with a few interruptions by Janine, who occasionally needed to throw up. When ever she had a long section of throwing up (or dry heaves), Kitty would get a wet wash cloth, and hold it against Janine's face to cool her down, and Kurt would get her a cup of water to sooth her throat and to put something in her stomach. "Are you sure you guys aren't mind readers?" Janine asked.  
The two smiled, and Kurt said, "No"  
These two people were amazing. They were the best friends she could have ever asked for. They helped her, but they didn't baby her. They were around, but they weren't suffocating. They treated her fairly normal, unless there was an instance that they _had_ to treat her differently, like when she was throwing up. It was wonderful. Around them, she could act like a regular teenager. Janine was feeling like she'd give up just about anything to be normal again. In a joking manner, Janine replied, "If you're not mind readers, you've got to be angels."  
Kitty laughed. "No, we're not angels, but if you want to meet an angel, I'm sure we could call up Warren, and have him come out here."  
Janine was a little confused, "Whose Warren?"  
"Warren is a mutant with big white wings. He actually looks like an angel. He lives in New York though." Kitty explained.  
"You guys are so cool. It would be awesome to be a mutant." Janine said. Suddenly, Janine's mom poked her head into the room. "Janine, it's almost 9:00 and your friends have school tomorrow, so tell them good bye, and let them leave."  
"Okay Mom." Janine said as her mother left the room.  
"Bye guys. Thanks for coming. It was a lot more entertaining with you guys around..." Janine said as her friends got up and left the room. "Bye, Janine." They echoed. And then they were gone. Sitting on the floor by herself, Janine started to think. She envied Kitty and Kurt so much. They were so normal, even with the super powers. Janine wished desperately she could be normal again. 'If it weren't for these treatments, life would be fairly normal...my hair would grow back, I'd stop being nauseous, and I'd actually get to stay in school. But of course, if I gave up my treatments, I'd be giving up any chance that I could live a long life..." 


	10. Percent Chance

More than Existing  
  
Author's Note: I gave hints of stuff to come in the last chapter...did you catch them? I'm getting toward the end; I'm guessing about 3 more chapters counting this one. Enjoy  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own anything  
  
Chapter 10 – "Percent Chance"  
  
Kurt and Kitty sat in the meeting room. Kitty was reading a book, and Kurt was studying for a biology test on genetic diseases. His homework kept him thinking about Janine. She still hadn't found a donor. She'd told him that year was plenty of time to find a donor and she was already on the waiting list. She seemed so confident that she'd get through this. Janine always acted as if having cancer was simply a little bump in the road. Kurt had never asked her out right, but he secretly wondered if she could die. He had done a little research on-line about Leukemia, and it said that if the doctors caught the disease in the early stages there was a high survival rate. He wondered what stage Janine's cancer was. He tried to continue studying, but Janine kept breaking into his brain. "Kitty?" Kurt said, looking at her. "Yeah?" she replied.  
"Do you zhink zhat Janine vill find a donor soon?" he asked.  
Kitty shrugged her shoulders as she said, "I don't know." They sat in silence for a minute. Kurt studied the floor. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. His excitement grew, "Kitty, do you zhink ve could be donors?"  
Kitty caught his excitement, "I don't know, like, maybe. We could ask the professor...or Hank. You want to ask them now?"  
Kurt rolled his eyes, "Ja, duh! Anyzhing's better zhan studying."  
  
Hank shook his head to their questions. "You can't donate marrow to her."  
"But, like, why not?! I don't mind giving it to her." Kitty said.  
"She can haf all she vants of mine. Vhy can't ve donate?" the elf asked, feeling his hopes being dashed.  
"You can't donate because you're mutants. To donate bone marrow, blood types have to match down to the very last technicality. Even if she does find a normal marrow match, there's always the possibility that her body will reject the marrow and she'll die. If either of you donate marrow, you'd also be donating your mutations, not only are you running the risk that her body will reject the marrow, but there's also the risk of side effects of your mutations. Lets say Kurt donated marrow, and her body didn't reject it; there's always the chance that she could turn blue or something simply because of a side effect of your mutation. If her body doesn't reject the marrow, it's possible that her body will reject the mutation, killing her. No, its too dangerous and there's too much risk to Janine. You cannot be donors." Beast explained. Kurt and Kitty slumped out of the room.  
  
"Janine! Hurry up, or you'll be late for your appointment with Dr. Boyce." Janine's mother called. They were heading off to talk to Janine's cancer doctor; he was going to give them an update on how the treatments were working.  
"I'm coming!" Janine yelled down to her mother as she finished tying Kurt's scarf around her baldhead and rushed down stairs. It seemed as if Janine had just got into the car, but suddenly she was in front of the hospital. Her mother walked with her in, but Dr. Boyce said that he needed to talk to Janine alone.  
"Janine, I've been looking over your charts." The doctor said with a troubled look in his eye.  
"Is there something wrong?"  
"Well you see, Janine, it's like this, you know that your cancer is very advanced, right?"  
"Yeah, but you said that chemotherapy could stop it-"she started  
"No, what I said was that chemotherapy may stop it. And then you would have to have a bone marrow transplant." Dr. Boyce said. "We didn't realized how advanced your cancer has become..."  
"Please stop beating around the bush Dr. Boyce. Tell it to me straight, am I going to die?" Janine asked, her heart in her throat.  
"It's a strong possibility."  
Janine sighed heavily. 'This can't be happening...'  
Dr. Boyce continued, "I've calculated your chances. To become cancer free, we've got to kill off the bone marrow, and then we have to give you the transplant...you only have about a 5% chance of surviving the chemotherapy." Janine's heart fell, she probably wouldn't make it through treatment, she swallowed hard, trying to keep calm. "What if I make it through the chemotherapy?"  
"I'm sorry, but you've only got an 8% chance of surviving a transplant, even if you can find a donor. Your body seems to be rejecting the treatments."  
"Isn't there anything else we could try?" she asked. The doctor shook his head. "Janine, you're the patient. You have a choice. You continue with the treatment, or you can stop. If you continue with treatment, you may last another year, maybe a little longer."  
"And if I stop?"  
"You probably won't make it another year."  
Janine could hardly believe what she was hearing. She had been so sure she would beat this. She had done everything she was supposed to, but still it wasn't enough...  
"Not all hope is lost...there are those few cases where people with worse odds than you have made it, and went on to lead long lives...You don't have to decide now. I just wanted to tell you before I broke the news to your mother..."Dr. Boyce said. 


	11. A Decision

More than Existing  
  
Author's note: We're almost there people. What do you think she'll do? Do you think she'll give up, and stop treatment? Or do you think that she'll continue even though there's little chance she'll survive? Well you'll find out in this chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: I. Own. Nothing.  
  
Chapter 11 – "A Decision"  
  
Kitty and Kurt got the call later that day. It was Janine; she said that she had something really important to tell them...something too important to tell them over the phone. They couldn't help but think to themselves 'Could she have found a donor?'   
  
Kitty and Kurt found Janine sitting in her backyard watching some birds in the birdbath. As soon as Kurt and Kitty came outside though, they flew away. Janine didn't turn to look at them right away. Kitty noticed that she wasn't wearing a scarf over her head, and she seemed to be sitting up straighter than usual. Almost as if a weight had been lifted. Janine turned to face them. She wore a smile on her face that was very different from her usual smile. Her face seemed brighter, less troubled. 'She must have found a donor!' Kitty thought to herself, her smile growing. "So" Kitty said, "What do you have to tell us?"  
"I'm stopping treatment." Janine said, her smile faltering a little.  
"So...you're cured?" Kitty said, a little confused  
"No. I'm just stopping treatment." Janine said again.  
"I don't understand, if you stop treatment...von't you die?" Kurt asked, his heart in his throat. Janine looked away. She hated to have to tell them this, but she'd learned her lesson about keeping things from them. She nodded.  
Kitty was shocked, "But why?! You're doing so well!"  
"No, I'm not. I thought I was doing all right, but we talked to the doctor this morning and he said that my body is rejecting the chemotherapy."  
"Isn't zhere somezhing else you can try?" Kurt asked. Janine shook her head. "The doctor said there wasn't anything else."  
"Isn't there _some_ chance? _Something_ you can do?" Kitty asked desparetly.  
"There's a small chance that I'll make it through chemo, and even if I do make it through, there's still the possibility that I won't make it through the marrow transplant." Janine explained.  
"But there's still a chance?" Kitty asked, trying to convince herself that her friend would be okay.  
"A 5% chance of making it through the chemo. And even then, there's still only an 8% chance that I'll make it through the transplant." Janine said.  
Kitty looked at her friend in astonishment, "So you're just _giving up_? You can't!"  
"I'm not giving up. I'm stopping-"Janine reasoned  
"Same thing!" Kitty said, beginning to lose control, "You can't give up. We-we can't give up. There's still hope."  
"Still hope for what? Still hope that I can spend the last months of my life in pain? Still hope that I'll spend what's left of my life in a bathroom dry heaving? I don't want that kind of hope. Kitty, I'm going to die. And if I'm going to die, I want to die on my terms, my way. I don't want to die in a hospital with an IV in my arm."  
"But-but with treatment, you can live longer...right?" Kitty argued weakly  
"Live longer? You mean **_exist_** longer. Sitting in a hospital alone, or throwing up in a bathroom isn't a life, it's an existence. There is more to life than just being alive."  
"But Janine" Kurt started.  
"No 'but's Kurt. I've been thinking about this for a while, even before the doctor told me. I want to start living normally again. Get my life back together, let my hair grow back." She smiled as she said the last remark, but then she became serious once more, "Guys, when I was in the hospital while the doctor was telling me about my chances, I saw a sign written on the door. It said, 'To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.' I don't want to just **exist**. I want to **live**. My life is getting shorter, and I want to spend it doing what I want. Not hooked up to a machine in the hospital." Kurt and Kitty were silent. "Please understand. I've already told my mother. She was upset, but she knows its my decision. Please be okay with this. Having you guys for friends has been the best thing that's happened to me in a while. Please understand..." The three sat in silence. Janine tried to think of some way to help them understand, but she couldn't come up with the words. They sat there quietly for a long time. After what felt like years, Kurt said, "I'm not sure I understand, b-but its your decision, your life."  
"Thanks Kurt." Janine turned her attention to Kitty. Kitty continued to study the grass. After a moment, Kitty whispered, "I don't understand...how can you give up?"  
"I'm not" Janine replied, "I'm not giving up, I'm spending the rest of my life how I want to. Kitty, I've been through so much pain. Don't I deserve to spend the rest of my life, the way I want to?" Kitty didn't trust her voice to speak, so she stiffly nodded. She knew that Janine had the right to be happy, but it was so hard to let go... 


	12. The End

More than Existing  
  
Author's Note: Sad? I thought so. Well, this next chapter has a little happiness in it. (Keyword: little) Enjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: Owns Nothing=Me  
  
Chapter 12 – "The End"  
  
The next few months flew by. The three friends did everything. They went to Six Flags because Janine wanted to ride a roller coaster. Kurt convinced the professor to let them take the jet so they could visit Hawaii because Janine wanted to go to the beach. They even saw the sites in New York, everything from Ground Zero, to the Statue of Liberty. Once, they even snuck the jet away one night and flew it to France so Janine could see her old friends in Nord-Pas de Calais...of course Professor Xavier was furious with them when they got back. Eventually, a year came and went, and over the next few months Janine began to grow weaker. She never said anything, but Kurt and Kitty could see it in her eyes. She was trying so hard to hang on, but it was obvious to them that she was only hanging on for their sake. In time Janine couldn't leave the house anymore. Her spirits never fell as long as Kurt and Kitty were around. And nowadays they were around a lot. They came to see her everyday after school, and they spent their entire day with her on Saturdays and Sundays. The three friends knew their time was being cut short and they were going to make the best of what little they had left. During those last few weeks, they did what they could. They played games, like cards, and Monopoly and they talked. They talked about anything and everything, ranging from what to eat for lunch to how short life is. Janine taught them a lot about life even if she didn't know it. One day Kurt asked if she was afraid of dying, and this was her response: "No. I know I should be, but I'm not. My life may have been short, but it's been fun, and I've enjoyed myself. I think that's the point. Living you're life to the fullest, and not hoping that one day you'll get to spend your time how you want. I think I've realized over the past year, that there is more to life than just existing. This past year has been the best one of my life. You guys have really made it worthwhile. If I would have never met you, and they would have told me that I wasn't responding to the chemo, I think I would have given up right then. I would have never been able to go do all the things we have. Not many people have friends that would sit here with them when their sick. I'm lucky I have you guys. I think its being friends with you that has made my life worth living my way." Tears began to build in her eyes, "Thanks."  
Kurt and Kitty held her hands that night as she went to sleep for the last time. In a way, it was comforting to be there when she let go. Somehow, it made Kitty feel better to know that Janine wasn't alone when she died. A few days later, a boy and a girl stood next to a freshly covered grave. They stood there for a moment and the girl solemnly put a bouquet of white roses on the grave. Kitty laid her head on Kurt's shoulder as she reread the words on Janine's grave again, printing them in her memory.  
  
Janine Strong  
A Daughter, A Friend  
  
1988-2004  
  
"There is more to Life, than merely Existing"  
  
Small tears began to fall as Kitty looked at the grave for the last time that day. She hated letting go. Kurt silently led her out of the cemetery. Unable looking at Kitty, he began to blink back his own tears.  
  
The End  
  
After Notes: Wow, that was sad. I'm writing this at work, and I had to try hard not to cry. I hate killing off characters. Its sort of sad, cause this guy at my work just died yesterday from a heart attack. 


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